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To showcase his nation’s defense industry, President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan of Türkiye presented each NATO leader with a Turkish-made revolver engraved with their name, as well as six rounds of live ammunition. What do you think? The post Turkish President Gives Handguns To NATO Leaders appeared first on The Onion.
WASHINGTON—Relieved that their colleague appeared to be the very same man they’d known for years, allies of Sen. Mitch McConnell told reporters Friday they had recently met with the seven-term Kentucky Republican inside a body bag. “Like so many Americans, we had our concerns about Mitch, but when the technician unzipped that vinyl pouch and let […] The post GOP Allies Claim They Met With Mitch McConnell Inside Body Bag appeared first on The Onion.
SEVEN MILE BEACH, AUSTRALIA—In a shocking and violent scene that left the local marine mammal dead and dozens of others injured, Neil the Seal was reportedly killed in a shootout Friday with authorities in Tasmania. According to eyewitnesses, the 5-year-old southern elephant seal emerged from Tiger Head Bay early in the morning toting what appeared […] The post Neil The Seal Killed In Shootout With Authorities appeared first on The Onion.
WASHINGTON—Having been provided with a powerful reminder that legs were not merely for standing around on, millions of Americans confirmed Friday that the World Cup had reinvigorated their interest in kicking things. “Seeing all these guys kicking balls on TV has really opened my eyes to how satisfying it is to swing your legs around […] The post World Cup Reinvigorates Nation’s Interest In Kicking Things appeared first on The Onion.
NEW YORK—Her eyes widening with horror as she took in the sight of the wrinkled hoodies and an upside-down electric keyboard strewn across the foyer, pop star Taylor Swift reportedly returned from her honeymoon Friday to find producer Jack Antonoff squatting in her Tribeca penthouse. “Oh, hey, it’s chill if I crash here for a […] The post Taylor Swift Returns From Honeymoon To Find Jack Antonoff Squatting In House appeared first on The Onion.
NEW YORK—Confessing total ignorance as to the origins of the mystifying ritual, FIFA admitted Friday it has absolutely no idea why soccer players routinely walk out onto the field accompanied by a group of little kids. “For a while now, the World Cup games have commenced with each player stepping out onto the pitch holding […] The post FIFA Admits It Has No Idea Why Soccer Players Walk Out On Field With Little Kids appeared first on The Onion.
Tech giant Meta continues to push its AI smart glasses, including with a new ad campaign featuring Kylie Jenner. Here are all the features of the wearable device: Hands-free doxxing 70+ styles to suit everyone from laid-back perverts to active predators Auto-Stare mode to stare at things for you AI therapy chat for parsing what […] The post All The Features Of Meta’s AI Glasses appeared first on The Onion.
The post Why Is Dad Pulling The Car Over? appeared first on The Onion.